September 12, 2011

An interview with the wine industry’s greatest superhero: @WINESALESHULK

Never before has the wine industry seen a superhero like @winesaleshulk (except for maybe @lennthompson).  We at VinTank have been fans for a long time.  His understanding of the inside nuances of the wine industry and the insanity that ensues for a street warrior continuously makes us laugh.  He calls out truths that others would be afraid to surface.  For that reason we asked him to interview with us.  Please remember that as a Twitter icon he only responds in 140 characters or less. Enjoy our interview with the wine industry’s greatest superhero:

Of all the career choices HULK could have made, what made you decide on the wine business?

BRUCE BANTER, MILD MANNER WINE REP ON VISIT BORDEAUX, GET CAUGHT MICHEL ROLAND REVERSE OSMOSIS GONE TERRIBLE WRONG. WINESALESHULK BORN.

How’s it feel working for “the establishment” (the wholesaler)?

SALE MGR ON MISSION DESTROY HULK BUT ALWAYS THWART BY HULK INNATE TALENT SAVE OWN ASS BY SMASH RIGHT THING RIGHT TIME.

How does HULK fit into the wine universe?

HULK ONLY PAWN IN GAME OF WINE. DESTIN ROAM STREET NY SMASH MGMT, SUPPLIER AND ACCOUNT IN TRAGIC SEARCH OWN WINE IDENTITY.

What is HULK’s favorite wine?  Your least favorite?

HULK FAVORITE WINE FREE SAMPLE. LEAST FAVORITE WINE WHATEVER SOMM POUR NOT BUY FROM WINESALESHULK. HULK SMASH.

Who is the biggest villain among your suppliers?

BIG FRENCH WINE SUPPLIER VERY DANGER. ALWAYS WANT EVERYTHING FOR NOTHING. NOT UNDERSTAND HULK ACCOUNT NOT CARE THEY FRENCH.

Who is the biggest villain among your accounts?

MANY VILLAIN IN HULK TERRITORY BUT GOATEE SOMM HULK MORTAL ENEMA. HAVE AMAZING POWER ORDER WINE WITH HEAD UP OWN ASS. HARD SMASH.

What other villains does HULK worry about?

HULK THINK CORPORATE WINE COMPANY MARKETING HACK ON SECRET MISSION DESTROY WINE BUSINESS AS HULK KNOW IT. CAN’T PROVE YET.

What does HULK think about wine bloggers?

HULK THINK BLOGGER VERY DANGER. CREATE ARMY WINE GEEK MINION UNDER THEY COMMAND. HULK ALMOST DIE BOREDOM SEVERAL TASTING. BARELY ESCAPE.

What does HULK think of all the new wine Flash sale sites (Lot18, Winestillsoldout, Gilt Taste, etc)?

THEY NOT BOTHER HULK. WINESEARCHER MORE DANGER. IT HYPNOTIZE LITTLE RETAILER THINK THEY LOSE SALE IF NOT HAVE EXACT SAME PRICE AS INTERNETS.

Wine scores: good or bad and why?

SCORES GOOD WHEN HELP HULK SELL WINE. SCORES BAD WHEN NOT HELP HULK SELL WINE. SCORES IRRELEVANT WHEN GIVE BY WINE BLOGGER NOBODY READ.

Biodynamics: your thoughts?

BIONAMIC GREAT! IT BEST SALE GIMMICK IN YEAR. NATURE WINE TOO! GREAT WAY SELL YOU WINE IF WHOLE WINERY INFECTED BRETT!

Any final thoughts?

HULK THANK! NOT SMASH VINTANK!

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